


Learning Curve

by KhonshusKnight



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bad attempts at parenting, Child, Kylo Ren Has Issues, M/M, Rating for later chapters, sort of generally post TLJ, tags added as the story goes on, what are babies?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-03-06 15:00:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13413735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KhonshusKnight/pseuds/KhonshusKnight
Summary: Hux discovers a baby on board the ship and decides that he and Kylo will look after it until the parents come forward. It doesn't always go to plan.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> So I am trying a chaptered fic for the first time in a long time. Hopefully I will update frequently and you will enjoy this. Anyway, enjoy~

Kylo Ren looked up when Hux entered the room and raised his brow when he noticed the bundle in the General's arms. He could recognise that it was a child, a baby, it was small and Hux was holding it paternally. Unsure of what to say Kylo just said, "Oh you do sleep with women." Hux shot him a glare. 

"Please Ren, control your jealousy. You know it's just been you since our first time over two years ago and I know you like to scan my mind sometimes - because your jealousy is _that_ ridiculous, but I did think we were past that." Hux rolled his eyes and then went back to shushing the child in his arms. 

"Then why are you carrying a baby? You're a man so I haven't gotten you pregnant, the same goes for me. I am at a loss here." Kylo had taken a step closer to the General, he wanted to look at the child, his curiosity piqued. He stared at the child, head of dark hair and eyes that were blue - as all babies are - but showed signs they were going to change. Hux had the child wrapped in a blue blanket and Kylo Ren assumed it was boy - but he couldn't be too sure. 

"I found him." Hux said quietly, "Someone had abandoned him and left him to be discarded." 

"Did you-" 

"Yes. The first thing I did was go to the medbay and try to find out who had been pregnant and given birth on board so I could take him back or something. But they had no records of anyone even being pregnant. So then I tried to find the security footage but there was none - weirdly. So I think who ever it was really wanted to get rid of him and have no one find out... I'm going to try to find his mommy though, I'll promise that there won't be any punishments and if she was abandoned by the father well I'll have to make sure he is punished." 

"And until you find the mother of the boy?" 

"He's going to stay with us." Hux said slowly, as if he was speaking to a child. Kylo Ren looked at Hux and shook his head. "What? You want me to leave the baby in the hallway and watch him fend for himself?" 

"N-No. But there are women on board this ship or couples that aren't us. Or people who have other kids." He shifted a little, "We have a ship to run and an empire to rule, in case you'd forgotten." 

"Yes? We can manage it Ren, it's only going to be a few days and then the mom will come forward and we'll hand him back to where he belongs and then this will all be fixed and you can stop worrying." Hux moved to sit on a chair in the living room area of their chambers, he stroked the boys hair softly, and smiled as he started to fall asleep. "I have droids who are going to bring all the supplies we need for the baby and like I already said it's just a few days and then we hand him back." 

"And if this woman doesn't come forward." 

"Well I assume she might need to see a medical droid, she pushed a human out of her." Hux shrugged. 

"She hadn't gone her whole pregnancy and you think after abandoning her baby she's going to walk into the medbay and have a physical?" Kylo looked at Hux and then rolled his eyes. "Whatever Hux, I'll go scan the ship or something." He left the room and walked through the ship, this idea was insane, keeping a baby and looking after it until the mother who clearly didn't want to be found came forward. They had never even talked about children - because they were both men and also both had no time to look after children. Kylo Ren had never really thought about children anyway, he'd been a Jedi as a child and they were celibate which took away all possibility of children, and then of course he left and found Hux. 

Children were not something he'd even put on his radar for his life, rule the galaxy was on there, visit Tatooine where his grandad was from - also yes, but having children? No, not on the list of possibilities. He didn't know why Hux was doing this to them, they didn't exactly live the kind of life that lent itself to children, they were busy fighting the rebels and trying to rule the galaxy. There were still kinks in the relationship things that would be worked out eventually. Kylo still felt some guilt and shame from breaking the celibacy vow even though he had renounced the Jedi order there was still that residual guilt he felt. 

He stopped walking when he saw droids passing him with baby items, he knew what they were for, unless there were other babies born recently. He knew that on board they were told not to conceive but there were always accidents and while most accidents ended in terminations there were people who refused and for that reason there were an array of baby items that could keep a child going until they landed someone or were able to get the family off the ship, as the first order wasn't really in the market of having children running around. 

Kylo turned on his heel and went back to the room to see Hux now sat going through some information on his holo while the baby was lying in a cot, that was at the side of the sofa. Hux looked over and raised a brow. "How did scanning everyone's minds go?" 

"I didn't." Kylo said moving to sit down next to the other man and pressed a soft kiss to the other's cheek. "I thought we were having a night to ourselves tonight. Can't you just send the baby to the infirmary or something?" 

"Kylo, it's a baby not a disease." He said looking back at his holo and scrolling through it. Kylo sighed at the others refusal to give him what he wanted. He wanted to know why the other was so intent about looking after this baby themselves, they don't know the first thing between them about babies. "I can see you glaring at the baby." 

"I was not." 

"Mhm, either way he's staying." Hux said, still not giving Kylo any attention, "oh and you're looking after him tomorrow." 

"Ah- No. I'm not looking after it." Kylo Ren said shaking his head. "incase you didn't remember my father was never around because he was busy smuggling and avoiding his family and responsibilities and my mother was busy with her favourite child, the republic." 

"Well you have a fantastic example of what not to do then, don't you?"


	2. Kylo's Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren learns that babies are a little more difficult than he thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about the wait, I moved half way across the world and life got a little crazy. I hope you enjoy it.

When Kylo Ren woke up he hoped that the baby thing was all a bad dream - that lasted for all of five seconds when he realised it wasn't an alarm clock but rather screams of a baby that had woken him up. "Finally you're awake. I've done all the night feeds and I need to sleep just a bit before I have to be on the bridge." Hux handed Kylo the baby. Kylo looked at him. "Feed him Ren, then play with him or something. Just keep him occupied, I don't know." 

"Exactly, you don't know and I don't know. How can you expect me to look after this-" 

"Feed the baby and look after it Ren, but just please let me sleep." Hux said before turning over and going to sleep. Kylo Ren got out of the bed, moving to their kitchenette and found bottles already in the fridge with a post-it note explaining how to heat it up and check it, he followed the instructions. He fed the boy as he sat on a chair, he then gently burped the baby. That was slightly easier than he thought it would be. He looked at the boy, the brown hair that covered his head, the big blue eyes that looked like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. 

"You should sleep... babies like to sleep, right?" Kylo Ren said quietly. He didn't know how to make a baby stop crying, his family wasn't the most loving and his mom and dad never got around to having another kid. His uncle didn't have any kids, so he really had no experience with children. He actually wasn't sure if Hux had more experience with children but he knew that there was only so much Hux could do. 

Kylo Ren finally relaxed when the child fell asleep in his arms. He got up and put it back in the cot, he looked at the sleeping form of his boyfriend. Maybe he should scan the others brain, find out what he knew about babies, then maybe he wouldn't do something stupid. He knew if he hurt the boy that Hux would kill him. He ended up kissing his boyfriends cheek and then wheeled the cot out of the bedroom and into their living area. He looked at the baby and sighed, he needed to find out how to look after a baby. 

He got the holo that was on the table and tried looking for anything, something, that could help him. He smiled noting that Hux had bookedmarked things so it was easier for Kylo Ren to find them. He sat reading about them and honestly, it was overwhelming. How could he do this? And Hux wanted him to do this _alone_ for a whole day. 

The baby started crying a little while later and Kylo Ren stared at him, he didn't know what to do, and honestly he was just looking at the child terrified. He looked up when he heard the padding feet of his partner. Hux looked ruffled from sleep. "Ren, he needs changing."

"You're a baby psychic?" 

"No Ren, I can smell." Hux moved to pick the boy up and smiled at him. "Aww is Kylo Ren not looking after your needs. Sweetheart. Let's show him how to change you shall we?" Hux took the baby over to a changing mat and lay him down. He looked over at Kylo, "Ren, come watch." he said softly, the other came over and Hux demonstrated how to change a diaper. Kylo Ren nodded - although did not want to actually do the whole diaper thing himself. 

Hux sighed, giving the boy a quick hug and then handing him back to Kylo Ren. "Ok, I'm going to shower, I have to be on the bridge soon so you're gonna be ok?" 

"I guess." He said looking down at the boy. Hux went off to the refresher and eventually came out looking as perfect as he always did, as perfect as he did when he went to work. Hux had truly mastered the art of having no sleep and then somehow being able to wake up and look fantastic. Kylo Ren walked over and pressed a slow kiss to the others lips. Hux smiled at the other and then left. 

Kylo Ren didn't say anything, he just looked down at the baby, he was supposed to know what to do to but he didn't. He just looked at the baby, Hux had to take care of it the next day. He didn't even know if he was going to last the whole day. He put the baby back down in the crib. He watched over it but eventually fell asleep. He woke up to find the baby screaming, he picked the boy up and tried bouncing him a little, - that didn't work. He went and got a bottle and tried to feed the baby, and it slowly took it. Kylo sighed in relief, he couldn't believe he'd managed to fix this problem. He smiled at the kid and then burped it. After the baby burped, he moved him to stroke the boys hair, only for the child to spit up on him. 

Kylo sighed going to get changed and throw his clothes with the other dirty clothes. He swaddled the boy (something he'd had to watch a video tutorial on) and then lay down on the sofa, reading more parenting books as the child slept. When the boy started crying again, Kylo got up and started to change the boy. It wasn't so bad, maybe he was finally getting the hang of it. He looked over when he heard the door open and smiled when Hux came in for lunch - although Kylo Ren suspected that Hux was checking that he wasn't dying. He was about to speak when he noticed his clothes were getting wet. He looked back at the child and whined. 

"Glad to see you've got a handle of it." Hux laughed as eventually the boy stopped peeing. Kylo Ren quickly cleaned and then diapered the boy. Hux smiled and went over to kiss the other gently. "Ok dress the baby and we can have lunch." Kylo Ren nodded and handed the now dressed baby to Hux and going to change his clothing again. 

Kylo Ren sat down with Hux as they ate lunch, they talked about nothing and work. Before Hux quietly said. "We should name the child." 

"You don't name the child Hux, that's how we end up keeping it!" 

"We can't just call it _child_ or _boy_." Hux shook his head. 

"No. We're not naming it." 

"Kylo," Hux said getting up from the table and moving to push the others chair back and straddled Kylo Ren's lap. "Kylo, c'mon, let's name the baby." He gave the force sensitive man a teasing kiss. 

"This is how we get attached, Hux, and we're not keeping him." 

"Think of names - we're going to pick a name when I get back tonight."


	3. Discussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux and Kylo Ren discuss the potential in the future for the child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long and is kinda short, but I hope you enjoy it <3

Kylo Ren did not think of names, he was not going to name the child. No matter how much the other wanted him to. If they named it then they would fall in love, and if they fell in love then they would keep it. He couldn't. Kylo knew he couldn't do that, not to a child. He just knew that it wasn't going to be possible. He promised that he would talk to Hux about it when he got home. Hux got back and looked tired, Kylo Ren had gotten the boy down, and he wanted to take this chance. "Hux, can we talk?" He said pulling the other to sit with him on the sofa. Kylo Ren gently kissed him, holding him close and taking a small breath. "You do know we can't keep him, right?" 

"This is about the name." Hux said softly, he moved to tuck some stray strands of the knights of Ren's hair behind his ear. "Ok, tell me what's on your mind. I want to know exactly what is going on in your mind." He said giving him a few softer kisses. "I really need to know." 

"I can't. We can't love this kid." 

"Kylo... this is temporary." Hux soothed the other, "We're going to find his mom or dad or something. I'm going to work on it." Hux knew that there was more going on in the force users mind, but he didn't know what it was exactly. He wondered if it was making Kylo Ren think about what happened with Han Solo on that bridge in Starkiller Base. 

"But if we don't, what do we do?" Kylo Ren said gently, he was nervous to mention this. He knew the other was going to want to do this, and he believed that Hux probably could do it all, be a parent and a leader, but he couldn't. Hell he barely looked after himself and still needed Hux to remind him to eat sometimes when he got crazy absorbed in something. 

"Kylo... We're going to find where the kid belongs." Hux gently gave him a slow kiss. "The name is because just calling him child doesn't feel right. He's a person, and he needs a name, just like you took a name" 

"I can't Hux..." Kylo Ren looked at him and took a slow breath, "I can't... not having him forever." He looked down and Hux shifted a little closer, gently wrapping an arm around him. He kissed Kylo Ren's cheek gently, silently promising that no matter what he had to say. "My parents... they both loved their lives too much without me in it, and I grew up feeling kind of empty." Hux nodded. 

"If it came to it, I would see to it that he got the best care. I'd work out how we could look after him properly." 

"No, I was just passed around Hux. I wasn't loved. Not the way kids need." He said looking at the other, "look, many people could give him what he needs." 

"Kylo... I know sweetheart. I know. You showed me one time. I love you and if you don't think we could manage to give it what it needs then we won't." He said softly. 

"I can't have another kid in this world who grew up like I did." He said softly, " _alone_ " 

Hux nodded, they didn't talk much more about the issue. Hux just held Kylo Ren against him, talking about his past made Kylo Ren feel awkward, it hurt and Hux knew that so he never pressed it further. He knew that the other would tell him if there was something to talk about. Hux wanted to hold him forever, he knew that Kylo Ren was far more damaged than anyone would ever know - and probably more than he could ever understand. Hux didn't care, damage made him who he was today, the man he loved. Hux pressed a slower kiss to the others lips, "Are you going to the gym?" 

Kylo Ren nodded, he wanted to clear his mind. Hux let him go and then went to looking to care for the other child. When Kylo Ren got to the door he turned around. "Just don't call him Han." He said quietly. Hux nodded, he wouldn't have thought of that anyway.


	4. Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren tries to get Hux to see his side of things.

It had been a few weeks and Kylo Ren had come back from working out to find Hux asleep on the couch the baby in the crib also asleep. He sighed, they were no closer to finding the mother and he kept finding himself wondering more and more if Hux was falling in love with the child. Kylo Ren had resolved that he would not be part of the child's life, not for the long run. It didn't make sense, not with the way that he'd been 'raised'. He didn't want a kid to grow up lacking love, and they were both too ambitious for it. Both focused on ruling the galaxy, of completing the mission it would be just like his mother, too in love with her first child _the rebellion_. 

He looked over the boy and smile when the boy woke up and reached for him. Kylo Ren let him hold onto one of his fingers. He smiled sensing Hux was awake. "If you're tired I can take him." Kylo Ren said quietly. "I mean he seems pretty happy now. He won't need feeding for a bit." Kylo Ren hated that he was suddenly giving all this care to the baby, he wanted it to be temporary but he was starting to feel like Hux wasn't thinking that way anymore, and that maybe he was falling for the boy. 

"Ren, I know you told me not to, but I named him." Hux admitted, there was still a hint of sleep in his voice, but Kylo Ren had always found that part of him cute. He did, however, know this already, he'd heard Hux a few nights ago telling the boy to shush and using a name. Kylo Ren had chosen not to mention it then because he didn't want to have an argument about it all. He had, after all, told him that he could name the child if he wanted to.

"I know. Adam." Kylo Ren spoke slowly. "He's not _ours_." Truthfully, Kylo Ren liked the name and he guessed that it suited the child. He still thought naming the boy was a mistake. He knew that this was the first step to falling in love with it, and he really did not want to go there with Hux. He just wanted to get this over and done with as soon as possible, while the damage to the child would be limited. 

"I know." Hux bit back. "I know but I can't just call him baby." Hux was already defensive, Kylo Ren knew he had to be careful in this situation, he didn't want to start a fight. 

"I get it." Kylo Ren sighed looking over at the redhead. "I just don't understand, why are we doing this? being _parents_. You never told me you wanted kids." He regretted it almost as soon as he said it. While it was his honest opinion he was aware that Hux probably, did not want to hear it. 

"You never told me you didn't." 

Kylo Ren had moved now away from Adam, he looked at Hux, "In what world would I want a kid? especially with you." 

" _especially_ with me? I'm worse than all your previous lovers?" 

"Hux." 

"Can you just go." 

"Armitage, I meant we're both too committed to the cause." Kylo Ren knew he'd made a mistake, he knew he'd upset the other, and he just didn't know how he was going to fix this, how to make this right. "Look what my parents did to me?" 

"Please Ren just go, I made sure your old quarters stayed empty." Kylo Ren stopped there and paused, now it was his turn to feel betrayed. He hadn't known that, that the other had expected this to happen, expected them to reach and impasse. He had been with Hux for a long time, for this to be a thing he just felt his own heart break. 

"That's how this is then." He said flatly, trying to mask his emotions. "You've just been waiting to kick me back to my room. I never told you I wanted kids. I never acted like I wanted to play house with you." 

"I get it Ren, you just wanna fuck me and move on, so fucking go. Leave!" Hux rolled his eyes, "this isn't about wanting kids, this is about how I'm the worst option for kids to you. So fucking go if I'm such a bad choice." 

"I didn't mean it like that! I meant you just love your job and you're good at it, and you are dedicated, and so am I. We don't have time in our lives for a kid, not to give it the love it needs." 

"Just because your mother and father were incompetent doesn't mean I would be." 

"I can't do it." Kylo Ren said looking at Hux, "I refuse. I'm not doing this. I'm not raising a kid with you. Or anyone else. I'm just not going to do it."

"So this is what we're doing now." Hux said staring at Kylo Ren, "what do you suggest we do with Adam?" 

"What you should have done in the first place, the med bay are equipped to look after him to til we land then he can be sent to a home and maybe he'll get adopted, but it doesn't matter because he's _not_ ours." Kylo Ren looked at Hux. "It's us, or him." 

Hux looked at Kylo Ren and clicked his tongue before moving to look over Adam, he moved to gently tuck the boy tighter under his blanket. "You know where your old room is." Hux said, not looking over at Kylo Ren, he didn't want to cry, not now, not in front of him. 

"Right." Kylo Ren said turning to leave, that was answer enough for him. He didn't need to stay around, his chest ached as he felt Hux rip it out. He was just asking for one thing from him and that was to give up a child who wasn't even theirs. He had previously thought they were on the same page. 

"Oh and Ren, don't come back here when you're horny. I don't want to see you." Hux's voice was clinical and Kylo Ren just left, he didn't need to confirm he'd heard. He knew Hux knew he was listening. He walked to his old room and punched the wall until his hand bled, then he sat on the empty bed and just stared at the wall. He was still in disbelief that Hux had really ended their relationship over this. He just thought that they were going to be together forever, maybe that was naive of him to think but he had always hoped that that would be the way that things turned out.


	5. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren misses Hux but can't change his mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always any comments are welcomed, hope you enjoy this chapter, sorry for the delay.

Kylo Ren didn't like this, he didn't like not knowing - or being on the out. He had never said that he didn't long for Hux, that he didn't want to be with him and yet here he was. He was waiting for Hux to change his mind, to show up at his door and tell him that he hadn't meant it, hadn't meant to end it. But part of Kylo Ren knew deep down that Hux wasn't going to do that. He knew that he'd pushed Hux into a corner on the issue with the baby - _Adam_ , Kylo Ren assumed that Hux was going to keep the baby as he had kicked him out. He just didn't know what he could do to change this situation. It had been a few weeks since the fight. He lay back on his own bed, honestly, they'd had fights before and it had always ended in intense make-up sex. 

He'd seen Hux around the ship but the General had just avoided him. Kylo Ren desperately wanted to reach out with the force and find out what was going on in the others mind, but he knew that Hux would really dislike that. But Kylo Ren felt weak, he reached out, looking for Adam first, it was easier. Adam wasn't going to tell him to go fuck himself the next time they saw each other. He couldn't help but smile, Adam was happy. He was asleep, and he wished that he could know more but the child didn't have more to show him. He wished he could see though his eyes. He was surprised to feel how content he was knowing that Adam was ok. 

He got up, walking through the ship and putting in the code to Hux's room, smiling when it went through. He gave the other a smile. "You didn't change the code." He said explaining. Hux was sat with Adam in his lap, Hux just watched him. "Hux, we can't keep doing this. C'mon." 

"C'mon what. Ren?" 

"Hux, you look exhuasted." 

"Thanks Ren, glad to know being a single parent is a good look." Hux sighed, "Can you just go Ren? I have things to do and I don't want to deal with you right now." Hux had gotten up and put Adam down in the cot, Kylo Ren had wanted to do more, say more, get Hux to take him back but he wasn't sure how he could do that. Hux turned back to Kylo Ren, "Look Ren, you can leave. I have a few reports to go over and he's gonna be up in a few hours to eat, I don't have time to entertain you." 

Kylo Ren sighed, he turned to leave. He knew refusal would just lead to a fight. "You know where I am." 

"Haven't needed you yet." Hux shot back. Kylo Ren sighed, this was obviously going to go all of nowhere. He wished that he could fix this but he wasn't even sure there was much to fix, Hux seemed pretty adamant that he didn't need or want him. Kylo Ren hated this feeling, he just wanted to get back to normality, but he guessed normality would be this now. Him missing Hux like part of his very soul was missing and Hux not even caring. That was what hurt the most, he felt like he was dying and Hux was just perfectly ok. 

It became Kylo Ren's turn to ignore Hux, he wanted to get away from him, away from feeling this way. Really this was not a surprise he guessed. He used to stay up all night watching as Hux slept, knowing that he wasn't going to be in the General's bed for long, but he'd gotten over that and had let himself believe that this was different, that Hux was different and could see past all his walls. 

But this was unexpected. Kylo Ren was practicing combat, not wanting to be wandering the ship where they would meet and Hux would never come here. He knew he was practically radiating _come near me and I'll kill you_ energy. Why, Why had Hux wanted the child so much he'd done this to them? Why had Hux ruined the only thing Kylo Ren thought he'd gotten right? Why had they his this impasse? 

Kylo Ren came out of the gym and was walking back to his room when he saw Hux walking down looking at a holo. Hux looked up and Kylo Ren tried to look strong and not like his heart broke just looking at him. Hux gave a small nod. "Ren, you're expected to go to briefing for a mission." He said with a small shrug. "I guess you haven't checked your holo." 

"I've been at the gym." Was all Kylo Ren could manage to say. 

"Not an excuse is it?" Hux said looking back down at the holo, "anyway, you're expected there in 2 hours. Don't be late." 

"Or what Hux?" Kylo Ren couldn't help himself. 

"Or nothing Ren, I'm not going to argue about this. You have a job to do." Hux turned to leave, and Kylo Ren wished he had the right words to say, that he were a wordsmith, but he wasn't and all he managed was a small sound that Hux just ignored and kept walking. 

The meeting was tedious, Kylo Ren hated them and Hux was on his holo during the meeting, half checking the camera he had on Adam. Kylo Ren just watching Hux, watching the child. Kylo Ren barely paid attention to the mission, go to a planet and dont die was the basic premise. Kylo Ren got up as soon as he could, and went to his room, throwing himself into his bed and closing his eyes tightly. Why couldn't they just work it out? Why was Hux completely fine? Kylo Ren found himself once again debating probing into Hux's mind to try to understand what he needed to do. 

The next day he got ready to go out on a mission, it was different. The first time in a long time he'd gotten ready alone. He could help it but he walked to Hux's room and put in the code, smiling that it wasn't changed. Hux was half ready, shirtless still and trying to feed Adam. He looked at Kylo Ren. "I'm changing the code." He mumbled, letting out a breath in relief when Adam took the bottle. "What are you doing, Ren? You have to be on a craft in 5" 

"I'm usually late." 

"I was too lax on you." 

"I don't want to fight." 

"Why are you here then?" 

"I'm going on mission Armitage." 

"And?" 

"I-I" He faltered, had Hux forgotten what they always did before he left? Or he guessed that it didn't matter. "I just thought.." He sighed, "I didn't want to go without what I always do. I love you Armitage Hux" 

"Kylo" Hux said quietly, "Come home safe." He breathed out the end of what they always said to each other. 

Kylo Ren nodded, "For you." And Hux swore his heard Kylo Ren say _for him_ too.


	6. Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux misses Kylo while he's on mission and gets an unexpected suprise when the other returns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're still reading this, thank you for sticking with me. I hope the new year will see more regular updates! (and maybe even a new chaptered AU fic)

Hux didn't go and watch Kylo Ren leave, he very rarely did and now he had to get Adam ready anyway, he just didn't have time. He finished feeding the boy and then moved to get him ready. He stroked the boys hair softly, small tufts of blonde hair was coming through. "I wish you looked like one of us, Kylo Ren would feel more connected to you, if you looked like one of us. I mean you've got green eyes but he's... well you know." It made him feel better talking to the baby, just letting everything out. He knew that Adam didn't really understand what was going on, he carried the little boy towards the med bay and then put him down in the area for the babies who's parents were on board. He was still looking for Adam's real parents, although he wouldadmit that he wasn't trying particularly hard. He knew it would break his heart if someone came forward and claimed the boy as their own. 

He was dealing with a few minor issues on the bridge, occasionally checking the holo to make sure the boy was ok. His mind was still thinking of what Kylo Ren said before he left, did he really mean it? Or he had he just said it to get what he wanted. Although he'd said it after Hux had given him the words that Kylo Ren had come to his room to hear. He wondered if the other had had a change of heart. Maybe he wanted to try the whole family thing, and that would be something Hux was kind of excited to think about. He wanted this, he wanted Kylo Ren to want to be with them together, he wanted them to feel like a family maybe. He wished they could have been like this from the start, especially as there was still a chance that he could have the boy and his partner. He had never intended on having a family, and then when he'd found Adam he'd ended up falling in love. He knew that Kylo Ren would fall in love with the child too.

Hux returned to his quaters that night and lay on the sofa, Adam in the cot next to him, he was reading over reports, while the child slept. He didn't really know what was going to happen when the other man returned, but god he missed him. He missed sleeping next to the body of the taller male, he missed lying against him, he missed when Kylo Ren would gently stroke his back. He didn't want to talk to anyone, he just wanted to talk to the other man and sort everything out. He wanted to make sure the other had meant it and that they could finally try to make a go of it with Adam. He knew that it wasn't right to force it on Kylo Ren but if the other wanted to try - and accepted the child then Hux would gladly take him back. He knew that they were meant to be together. He had always felt that and he just wished that Kylo Ren could see that for himself. 

Hux got an alert when Kylo Ren's ship was returning and expected to see the man saunter off the craft as he had done every other mission he'd taken. Hux watched in abject horror as they brought the other off on a stretcher. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't think. "Take him to the med bay. I'll be there in a minute. I need the mission report." He mumbled, trying to keep everything together. He had to keep this together. Someone had to keep it together for them both. He had Adam to worry about, but he left him at the nursery, holding the holo with the report on and going to sit in the med bay next to Kylo Ren. 

He looked at his holo and knew that the injuries the other had taken could be healed, but he couldn't help but still feel distressed. He knew they'd technically broken up - and maybe he'd misunderstood everything that had happened prior to Kylo Ren leaving, maybe he didn't want to do the whole family thing. Maybe Hux was just wishing that that were the case. Part of him did accept that - he knew that Kylo Ren didn't want any children and that was ok, he couldn't force someone to have a child they didn't want. He wanted Kylo Ren to care for the child and to love them but there were limits to the power of wishing. 

He looked over when he heard stirring and smiled at Kylo Ren as he was slowly coming around. Hux gently stroked the others hair to try to soothe him. "It's ok, you're in the med bay and everything is going to be ok." Kylo Ren slowly oepned his eyes and looked at Hux. Hux hated this, he knew that they cared for each other more than life itself and he hated that this issue had torn them apart. No one was going to match him the way that Kylo Ren did and that was a fact. He gave him a small smile. "You just focus on resting, we can talk after and sort this all out." He just wanted Kylo Ren to focus on getting better and not worry about anything. 

There were no strings attached to this. Hux couldn't just switch off his feelings for Kylo Ren, but he knew that if they couldn't agree on Adam their relationship would become very different from this point onwards. He was ok with that, he would never stop loving the sith lord but he could accept if their paths diverged. He just wanted them to be on the same path. He moved to give Kylo Ren a small drink of water and then went back to reading his holo when the other closed his eyes. 

He looked over when he heard the other say "I'm not afraid anymore.",


End file.
